b'Rituals to Relish.or notHeads upits spring (again)!BY ABBY SHERH ark!Doyouhearyour heart and ask yourself, Does this bring me thatsound?Tisjoy? If not, toss it! This is especially helpful to theruby-throatedme when my kids bring home a years worth hummingbird,of school art projects or I realize Im twenty loudandlustfulyears too old to wear cutoff jean shorts. aftera2000-mileChances are, over half your home is dis-journey from theposable. Especially the half that belongs Gulf of Mexico to the puddles of Essexto someone else.County. Or maybe its the symphony of4.Is That a Raccoon every lawn mower and weedwhacker rev- in Your Ceiling or Are You ving up at once. Could also be the screechJust Happy To See Me?of those rusty bicycle chains followed byItoftenstartswithaninnocuous mykidshigh-pitchedwails.Becauseitsscratch in the floorboards. Or maybe a SPRINGTIME IN THE SUBURBS!!! scurrying sound overhead. I thought we Here are a few more springtime ritualshad bedbugs. But no! It was just a pos-indigenous to the SOMA valley that yousiblyrabidsquirrel/raccoon/bat/bird/might enjoy. Then again, you might not.possum stuck in our kitchen ceiling. Either way, theyre gonna happen. Everyone loves to migrate, and there 1.So Many Beards, Soaretonsoflittlebouncer-lessentry-Little Timeways, like that space between the gutter Openingyourscreendoorforthefirstand the roof. So now you can either embrace spring breeze can be daunting. Especially when you havent seen your neighborsyour wildlife refuge or call Apache to get one of those one-way tunnels with faces for the past four months. Its a little like worms tunneling their way out ofcheese to get the vermin out.the ground after a rainstorm. Except all the worms are super hairy. How did this5.Take a Bow!happen? Why did this happen? Perhaps it was a survival instinct. Or a RasputinGet ready for the best Bruno Mars medley on cello since Yo-Yo Ma. Seriously, look-alike contest in the back room of the Burgdorff. Whatever the cause, theresin my home, the whole year has been a dress rehearsal for the month of May. a lot going on at this time of year in both facial and leg hair. I try to shave inBetween choir concerts, tae kwon do hip-hop performances, and stepping-up installments so no plumbing gets hurt. Apparently theres also a cream that willceremonies, I need to set my clocks ahead another hour so we dont get into slough off your heels if you think that sounds like a party. another one of those, Why are you the only mom who walks in late with an 2.New Years Resolution Reboot iced coffee? scenarios. If you didnt take up the harp and reconcile with your sister by now, guess6.Above all, Remember Summers Just Around what? Youre probably not going to! So I like to take that first day of spring tothe Corner!shed all those unrealistic expectations. If Im feeling really ambitious, I make aWhich means BBQs, pool noodles and realizing we never budgeted for day verbal agreement with myself to try harder.camp. But have no fear! That moldy log can double as a pirate ship and you can 3.Marie Kondo Your Way to Freedom invent recipes like a Boredom Smoothie. And hey, come June 21 the days start Good-bye clutter and hello spring spaciousness. The rules of KonMariing aregetting shorter again. pretty straight forward. Hold whatever cardigan or can of outdated peas up toAbby Sher is a writer, performer and mom. Her next book is due out in 2020.38/ matters magazine / spring 2019'