b'final mattersSalutations from yourFriendly Neighborhood ChatbotChatGPT provides best practices for living in Maplewood and South OrangeBY DONNY LEVIT AND CHATGPTAto the general public. By January 2023, theconversational tone. mere six months ago, the artificial intelligence chatbot ChatGPT (generative pre-trained transformers) was in- Living in South Orange and Maplewood can have its unique set troducedof challenges, so we invited ChatGPT to address our hyperlocal programalreadyhad100millionusers,becomingthefastestmailbag of questions. growing consumer internet app ever. With a simple text promptDonny Levit is a writer and radio DJ who may or may not have or question, ChatGPT attempts to mimic natural writing andwritten this sentence.Q: I miss having lawn signs in front ofA: Hello, Harper. Based on our research, it is not my house, ChatGPT. There areuncommon to see lawn signs displayed in the towns of no current competitive elections forMaplewood and South Orange. Since these two towns me to support a particular candidate.are known for being politically active and sociallyQ: I just adopted a new What subject matter would you sug- conscious, lawn signs expressing points of view are gest to engage my neighbors with healthypuppy and I cant wait to debate? Are there any concerns I shouldcommonly on display during the entire year. take her for walks. Im a big fan of have about displaying certain kindsAs a parent, you may have strong opinions on howStranger Things so I named her Eleven. of messages? Also, how can I getschools should be run. For example, you may beI think shes so cute. Ive never had a my kids involved?Harper,passionate about curriculum, transportation, anddog before, so I was wondering if you could give me any suggestions.infrastructure.South Orange. Dr. Brenner, Maplewood.It is possible that a neighbor may approach you and express their dislike of your sign. They may ask you to take it down or move it to a different location. If you Q: My 9-year- want to avoid potential conflicts with your neighbors, old daughter isone possible solution is to have your new sign designedA: Congratulations on your new puppy, Dr. Brenner! Here are by your child or children. The neighbor may be lesssome best practices that may help ensure a healthy life as a pet obsessed with Star Wars.likely to complain or steal the sign if they see it writtenowner as well as a citizen of an active pet community in South The other day, she asked mein adorable childrens handwriting. The other benefitOrange and Maplewood.if Darth Vader were alive today,is that the neighbor may not want to risk being caughtWhen you first start taking Eleven for walks, its important to would he prefer Maplewood oron your Ring alarm and having that image of stealingstart with short walks and gradually increase the distance and South Orange? I have been do- a childs sign posted on various local social mediaduration over time.ing research, but cant seem tooutlets. Please note: some may consider this to be a come up with a good answer.passive-aggressive tactic. Good luck! Even if a dog is well-trained, do keep her on a leash when youre Can you help?Anakin (ha haout in public. While you may think your dog would never do so, the thats not my real name),two towns have recorded multiple dog attacks in the recent past.Maplewood. It is recommended that you carry more than one poop bag. Also, avoid having your dog poop on your neighbors lawn. Avoid having a dog relieve itself on baby trees. Telephone poles are accept-able, and what is more iconic than seeing a dog relieve itself on A: As Darth Vader is a fictional character from the Star Wars franchise and is not an actual person, it would not bea hydrant? possible for him to have a preference for either Maplewood or South Orange. Additionally, Darth Vader is a villainousOftentimes, your dog will want to greet another dog who passes character in Star Wars, known for his evil deeds, so it is unlikely that he would be interested in living in either of theseby on the street. While the dog may be friendly, sometimes towns. the dog owner may not be so welcoming to the salutation. The Its also worth noting, Anakin (ha ha thats not my real name), that Darth Vader is a character from a science fictionsociology of dog owners is a very complicated subject, so it movie and it is not possible for him to be alive in Essex County today, as his story takes place in a galaxy far, far away. will take time to understand the signals given out by an owner. As a villainous character, Darth Vader is not likely to be open to learning or changing his ways, but if he were to visitRemember, sometimes the dogs human struggles with their own Maplewood and South Orange, he could learn about the different cultures, backgrounds, and way of living of the com- behavioral issues so we must do our best to remain patient. Itmunities there. Both towns are known for their diversity and community spirit, and it would be an opportunity for Darthis a good practice to carry treats to offer to the humans. How-Vader to learn about different perspectives. ever, if you choose to offer treats, be gentle, avoid quick motions, and ask the human about their dietary restrictions and allergies. Here is a recommendation: pose this question to current South Orange Village President Sheena Collum and current Maplewood Mayor Dean Dafis as they may provide a unique perspective as to best practices to destroy the Death Star.46/ matters magazine / spring 2023'