b'final mattersFinding my new ritualThe (not so) private adventures of a kickboxing klutz.BY DONNY LEVITI amthrowingacom- punching bags are lined up in such aout of breath. As Tara once said, This binationoftriplejabs,way that even an exercise recluse likestretchisgoingtomaketyingyour triplehooks,andame could feel a sense of privacy. Andkids shoelaces a lot easier. Shes right.flurryofuppercutsthat sound of making contact with aOver the last six months, Ive be-onapunchingbag135-pound bag was so gosh-darn sat- come a consistent member of the kick-thatweighsabout135isfying. This place gave me no choiceboxing community. I can burn about pounds.Iaddsomebut to return. 800-plus calories in a challenging one-sidekicks in for good measureDidyoukicksomebox?Thatshour class and have the strength to do before I hit the floor and plowthetextmessagemywifesendsmeit all over the next day. Ive created a through a half-dozen burpees.most days to make sure I got to class.new ritual. With about ten seconds left inYes, I text back. I kicked box. Although I put my blinders on for my attack round, I try to exe- Now because Im a music junkie,theactualworkout,Icanthelpbut cute a series of flying sidekicks.I do occasionally get caught up in therecognize the individuals who regularly I stumble, trip, and call myselfclassplaylists.Andsometimes,thatscome here. Theyre gritty, diligent, and a klutz as well as some unprint- to the detriment of my workout. Oneseemingly indefatigable. I think kick-able terms under my breath.morning, Blondies Rapture startedboxing gives them the tools to develop The instructor then asks usplaying and I struggled to remembera quiet, graceful confidence. Heck, Im to hold a plank position. Thiswhat album its on. Parallel Lines? Au- looking like less of a klutz every day. isachanceforyoutocatchtoamerican? Then I really went down aI hope to see some of you at the bag your breath, we are told. I respectfully disagreemy arms are quiveringbutrabbit hole. I like Chris Steins liquid- next to me. Now lets kick some box, secretly, Im kind of liking it.arm guitar playing on this track, butshall we? You see, Im developing a hardcore kickboxing habit. This was not supposedDebbieHarryalwaysseemssoawk- Donny Levit is a journalist, writer, and to happen. After all, I dont care for classes. And I am one of the most biome- wardwiththatrapthingshedoes,Maplewoodresident.Heistheauthor chanically-challenged folks walking the planet.I think to myself. Hey, maybe Taraof Rock n Roll Lies, 10 Stories. You can Lets back up for a moment. will let me guest DJ a class some time.hear him DJ his show Under the Influ-For decades, I had been a long-distance runner. The simplicity and rigorWhichSonicYouthsongcouldtheence on Bone Pool Radio at bonepool-suited my mentality. Im a city kid who treasures his privacy and anonymity. Iclass tolerate? radio.com.FollowhimonTwitter@knocked out a marathon, a slew of half-marathons, looped Central Park over aDarn,IjuststoppeddoingmydonnyreportsandInstagram@undert-thousand times, and darted through the streets of Moscow, Buenos Aires, andcrunches.heinfluenceradio.Tokyo for some of the best runs of my life. Alone. I like that my kids ask about my But putting two feet in front of each other for that amount of time has comeclasses.Mythree-year-at a price. My knees were becoming unhappy. And those of you who have tan- olddaughterenjoys goed with plantar fasciitis know how quickly it can sideline you. However, thedemonstrating her own exercise introvert in me stubbornly resisted the idea of a classroom workout. Allkickboxingmoveseven those people!ifshelookslikeshes One morning last summer, I sheepishly crept into CKO Kickboxing onchoreographingapost-Springfield Avenue for a free trial class. Id never punched anything in my life.punkballet.AndIve I assumed this would be a one-shot deal, because after all, I wasnt going to jivenoticed that I can chase with this whole class thing. them up the stairs and Tara Connell, the owner, gave me a short introduction. Sixty minutes later, Iwithstandtheirpost-had successfully fudged my way through my first class. So now I had a problem.bath pile on and pum-Tara was affable and encouraging. Her class playlist included the Ramones. Themelingwithoutbeing 50/ matters magazine / winter 2020'