b'final mattersFinding Parallels Across Generations of Women How Im rethinking post-grad career success.BY ALEXANDRA BYRNEAlexandra Byrne, a recent college graduate, works as an editorial intern.R plates. It was during thatin Maplewood, the women in my life showed mewas being an actress or an astrophysicist, both of ecently, my mother and I were sitting at the kitchen table afterwhich are amusing now, given my lack of talent dinner, gazing at the crumbs onin those fields. Littler me tried everythingfrom ourgiving it my all every year at Morrow Musical The-liminal time after my gradua- ater Camp, to starting an Etsy business with my tion from college and before Ineighbor, Madeline. How easy it all felt.moved to New York City, whereIm endlessly fortunate, however, to have had after months of searching and being rejected, I had fi- unlimited possibilities, without the apprehension Ithe room to set those goals and figure out how I nally landed a job as an editorial intern. I was anxiousfeel now. They were doctors and journalists, lawyerswas going to make it happen. The women in my to leave home, and I know she understood that. andteachers.Theyweremagazineeditors,artists,lifedidnthaveitall A job was good, but I still felt lost in the uncer- and whatever my mother did, which I never fullyfiguredout,butthey tainty of change. Would this job set me on a path tounderstood but knew she loved. (I eventually figurednonetheless wanted me my goal of being a reporter? How would I know if Iout she works in technology, cool!) As a little girl, itto dream big. In truth, was succeeding? all felt achievable. thatambitionhasnt Youre at such an exciting time in your lifeyouWith time, I began to realize this faade of wom- goneanywhere.Itjust can do anything, my mother said, responding toanhood I perceived as a girl, of ease and boundlessfeelsalittledifferent these concerns. Me? Im on my path, I cant changeconfidence, had cracks. As I struggled through mynow.Imunderstand-it now. But for you, its wide open. Her tone wasrecent job hunt, the cracks felt bigger than ever. Jobsing how the choices we encouraging, but with an air of melancholy. I cantare hard to get, and once you do, theyre sometimesmakeandthechances imagine what it must be like to see your daughter inunnervingordemanding.Sometimesthemoneywetake,whichmayLittle Alexandra on the that phase when she starts thinking critically aboutgets tight, sometimes you lose your job, and throughseem scary or taxing inlast day of Kindergarten. careers and adulthood. Im sure in seeing the paral- it all, you must find a way to keep going. the moment, are as im- She had many ambitions, lels between our lives its easy for her to consider allI think of my mother working her first job in aportant to success as our achievements.the paths she didnt take. consignment store after college, not really sure whatAs I grow closer to the stage of life where my Since that moment, I think often about her ad- she was going to do. I think of her company, and thusmother was when she raised me, I appreciate the sac-vice. The futureher job, slipping away during the recession. I think ofrifices and adjustments we make that yield not only seemsdaunt- her making the tough decision to move us away fromaccomplishments, but also stability, inspiration, and ing,andtheMaplewood, to follow a job opportunity she knewpresence of mind. I realize it was all these elements fearoffailingwould change her life. So rarely did she let her toughof life and work that I saw while growing up, bal-lives in the backcareer decisions enter my narrow worldview. anced by women who made it look easy. Now, Ive ofmymind.At first, I was mad nobody told me how difficultsimply arrived at a moment where I need to balance But I know myit is to achieve the lofty dreams you set as a kid. Ivethem for myself. motherisrightalways been ambitious, but nowadays, I catch my- Alexandra Byrne grew up in Maplewood and is an as-successisntself feeling overwhelmed by practicality, tired andpiring journalist working in New York City. After ex-cut-and-dry. Alexandra Byrne with her mom, anxious. I think about all the dreams little Alexan- ploring other options, shes considering reviving her Etsy Jillian Munro, on her graduation Growingupfrom William & Mary. dra had, the one who always had a goaleven if itbusiness as a side-hustle.50/ matters magazine / fall 2023'