b'final mattersLessons I Learned at 45My Nan is a good teacherBY KRISTEN HAASNan cleans up at bingo night at her senior community center.M ran 98-year-oldand connect with my friends. Nurturing those y g dmother,relationships is so fulfilling and adds so much to Nan, recently fell.my life. I treasure my friendships.I never consideredNan has taught me many things, such as how hertobedelicateto make a proper pot of tea and how to knit, al-orfragile,sothisthough I never did get the hang of it. However, wasquiteshock- I feel like the most enduring lesson is the one ing to me. Fiercely independent, Nan has beenIm learning now at 45 years old, as I ponder the active in body and mind her whole life andthings that Nan has done to keep her mind sharp still lives alone! Her fall got me thinking aboutandherbodyagile.Ihearfrommanyfriends what has helped her thrive all these years. about how their parents are having health and Nan grew up in England. A teenager dur- cognitive declines. Nans independence in mind ing the Blitz in London, she spent every nightand body is a revelation.during that time in an Anderson shelter under- family.Mysister,herhusbandandmymotherSo,herearemytakeaways:playbingoand ground. Her house was hit by one of the biggestjoin her. When we are able to get down there onother games with your family, practice throwing buzz bombs to ever hit London during the Blitz. Toa Monday, its such a treat. I realize that engag- yourcornholebagseverychanceyouget,take say shes a tough cookie is an understatement. ing in community activities has kept Nan young.walks outside, read lots of books, keep your hands Over the years Ive watched my Nan continueI mean, shes even helping to keep her daughterbusy, make lots of time for your friends and fam-with many things as shes aged. She worked into her my motheryoung and vibrant by attendingily, do acts of service whenever you can and write late 80s, travels, nurtures a vibrant social life, readsthese events. This has led to family game days.your life story, even if just for yourself. It can all many books, takes walks around her senior village,NanlovesagoodgameofBoggle.Shesstillabe fun and will make an important difference to writes her own stories, kicks ass at cornhole, andfierce competitor. your older self.so much more. Shes only slowed down in the lastNanhasalwaysbeenavoraciousreader.INan is still recovering from her fall. I have to fewyears,still buy her British mystery novels as gifts. Sheadmit Im worried she may fall again. But for now, butshestillhas also been working on a memoir for decades.shesbeingspoiledatmymothershouse.Shes does a lot. She doesnt have a computer or internet, so shefrustrated at her body for healing slowly, but it Mondaywrites everything in lined notebooks. Her storieshasnt been that long. So maybe its my turn to nightbingoinspired me to write. Writing became part of whobe strong for her and to model that strength for atNansse- I am. I now recognize that doing it regularly keepsmy son. I continue to be motivated and inspired niorcom- my brain active, which is essential for women asby Nan. Im going to keep moving my body and munityatwe age. exercising my mind in all the ways that she has theJerseyMaking time for a social life and friends is alsotaught me. Shorehassomething I have seen Nan do for many years.Kristen Haas lives in Maplewood and is a mom, an becomeaNow in my middle age, Ive realized Im mucheducator, entrepreneur, writer and Nans favorite.Kristen Haas with her Nan. staple in myhappier when I make time to have coffee or lunch 38/ matters magazine / winter 2025'