b'final mattersMoving Into AdulthoodWhen a new apartment marks a new phase of lifeBY MARIBETH THEROUXIMyhusband,myto one financial crisis after another moved to SOMA in the fall of2020.and back again. He: an actor. Me: 10-month-old daughter anda writer. We lived with roommates I made our home in a two- in Harlem off the last stop of the 3 bedroomapartmentabovetrain. Then, one of those pesky fi-Sabatinospizza.Iloveditnancial crises landed us for a time immediately.Inthefront,in his parents basement in New Jer-the scent of dough and garlic pairedsey. Then, we got married, packed with the flow of cars and people onup our car and our cat (who wed Valley Street. adoptedfromoneofourroom-In the back, the east branch ofmates in Harlem) and drove clear theRahwayRiverwovethroughacross the country to Hollywood. each day. I stopped to gaze at it as I(Okay, Pasadena.)crossed the bridge on Jefferson Av- The writer at the Memorial Park duck pond, revisiting one of her favorite walks aroundIf you couldnt tell, I could wax enue, taking in how high or low theher previous block. romantic about any of our short-water was that day. I never tired oflived homes, including apartments looking for an egret.that,whilebigoncharacterand I felt held and protected, in a time when that felt so essential. On a per- charm, also came with various frustrations and even dangers. Everything sonal level, I was finding my footing in parenthood. On a societal and globalfrom on-street parking that resulted in cars plowing straight into our parked level, well, we all know where we were in 2020. car as we slept, to tiny quarters that necessitated converting our walk-in clos-My family has since moved. Were closer to downtown South Orangeet into our walk-in bed. At best, it was annoying. At worst, it was bed bugs.now. We added a member to the family. We craved a bit more space and aThere is a particular type of stress that is unique to young adulthood. It is bit more function. Although our new apartment serves us so well, I miss myquite different from the stressors of adulthood proper. There are new frustra-old apartment. I miss being able to say I live above a pizza place. I miss thetions and new dangers. Also, new joys. New opportunities and horizons. Little Free Library down the street. The footbridges in Memorial Park. TheIm still adjusting to my new apartment. One of my favorite things about pickleball, tennis and basketball players. The way I had five different optionsit is the bay window in our living room. When I look out of it, I can see clear for the perfect walk around the block. on to the South Mountain Reservation. Another amazing feature, our down-I typically love change. The sense of possibility. The energy of a horizon.stairs neighbors. We truly must be terrible to live beneath. Chairs scraping, Perhaps thats what Ive been missing since we moved. Were in an apartmentchildren screaming, big and little feet stomping up and down the hallway. where, if we decide to, we could stay for a very long time. Years. We haveWe are a cacophony. Meanwhile, our neighbors only express warmth and enough space. We have a dishwasher. We have a washer and a dryer in thegratitude about our very presence. The feeling is mutual.basement and a garage to store all our strollers. I feel grounded, and it feelsFor the first time in my life, Ive planted perennials in my yard. For the strange. It occurs to me that I might be describingadulthood.first time, I have a yard and a sense that I might be here long enough to see I didnt realize that moving would be the thing that would make me feelthe daisies and the lavender return year after year. that Ive truly and definitively arrived at this stage of my life. After all, Im 38Im still compiling my catalog of all the things I love about my new apart-years old. Theres evidence to support that Ive been an adult for quite somement and my new neighborhood. Its a different kind of love, I think. Dare I time. I just never fully felt it until now. say, a grown-up love. Either way, Im happy to be here. My husband and I met in New York City when I was in my early 20s.Maribeth Theroux is a writer, a poet, and a grown-up. She never tires of looking We were happy struggling artists bouncing from one artistic opportunityfor egrets. You can find her writing at poemtoday.substack.com50/ matters magazine / fall 2024'